I have left my job!

I quit my job two weeks ago. For the last two weeks, I have been free. Yes, I still have my freelance translator job. But I work from home for it, and also my freelance job is pretty much enjoyable. So I’m not suffering anymore.

For first few days of my freedom, I wasn’t exactly free. I was still getting messages and phone calls from the office, but now they’re gone also. My phone now only rings for good news. ^__^

I haven’t been able to focus on my freelance job due to being home and being home used to mean being lazy. But slowly I’m getting rid of that mood as well. This weekend, I’ll be cramming for my freelance job and when I create a routine, it’ll be even better.

I’ll be paid less and will be home more. But what’s wrong with these options? I can always go out to take walks, meet my friends more freely without my day job like I’m chained to it.

So this is better and I feel better. And I’m actually more eager to work than before. For my freelance job of course. 🙂

I think I’ll be on the job hunt after a month and when I completed the heaviest workload for freelance job. But I won’t be applying to any job that would make me miserable. So, no more assistant jobs where the job doesn’t even cover my interests. I’ll be looking for jobs where I can write, where I can actually socialize with people and where I can actually be happy and work for years. And if that doesn’t happen, oh well. I’ll start studying for PhD admissions for next Spring anyway, so there won’t be big loss. True that I’ll have less money coming in and I’ll have to adjust to that. But even that’s a better option than working at a job that would make me miserable.

Wish me luck!

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Cold cold cold

Istanbul’s been very cold for a few days. It’s not freezing my ass off cold, but it’s certainly there’s a chill in my bones cold. Maybe I’m getting sick? I don’t know.

Today I have a job interview. The company that I have the interview with is a small lovely place that I frequently shop from. I hope that it goes  well and I can quit my current job. Because this place always puts me on edge. I always have anxiety about something and this is getting tiring. It’s also one of the reasons that I’m always somehow physically sick. It’s affecting my mind and my body.

Weird thing: The place that called me for interview. I haven’t applied to any positions for them in a long time. Like, my last job application was three years ago. THREE YEARS! A lot happened in those three years. I wonder why they decided to call me for an interview. But hey, I’m not complaining. If it is going to save me from this job, I’m all here for it.

I don’t want to put too high expectations for this interview but I can’t help myself. There is a possibility that I’ll work for a great place in a good position and I’m so excited for it! I hope that it goes all well and I’ll get the job.

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Just saying…

I used to think that people who had secretarial jobs had it easy. Just answering phones, organizing calendars and stocking office supplies.

Boy, was I wrong?

Imagine. Your two phones are always ringing, your bosses and every other employer is asking for plane tickets, otel reservations, orders, the paper that they had their hands the other day, anything really. And meanwhile, guests are coming, mails are always coming because e-mails are 2010 right now and snail mail is the way. Not to mention, there’s a ton of paperwork that needs to be finished. But it’s impossible because everyone assumes that you have no job and no qualification whatsoever. You’re one step away from carrying food plates. Because that random employee doesn’t want to eat in the kitchen.

Me? I don’t need to imagine.

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I’ve been living this nightmare for five months now. And hopefully, soon, I’ll be ending this nightmare while dropping the mic on everyone.

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People who have secretarial jobs. Next time, you open that phone line with an exasperated tone, I will only appreciate you and do my best to make your job easier.

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This has been a post.

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Okay, we got that one…

There will be spoilers for the last episode of Game of Thrones and for the books of A Song of Ice and Fire…

So proceed with caution…

 

 

You’re good? Then let’s go…

At the last episode of Game of Thrones, we finally saw Jon Snow, bastard of Winterfell, but the true king of Westeros (according to Gilly anyway), petting Drogon. But according to books, it’s strongly hinted that there will be three riders of three dragons.

In the previous seasons, when Tyrion interacted with Viserion and Rhaegal, I was jumping with joy. Tyrion was going to be one of the riders of the dragons. But this season? Nothing.

One theory is that dragons only allow people who has Targaryen blood. But in the books, that’s not necessary. In the books, there’s also a character who interacts with the dragons and don’t get burned. I don’t remember the character’s name but he was from the South and had no chance of being a Targaryen.

Although, there is also a theory Tywin hated Tyrion not only because he was a dwarf but also a bastard of Targaryen, but I don’t want to believe that.

In my opinion, books should be more inside of the shows and should show us Tyrion interacting with the dragons again. And maybe a glimpse of a future where Daenerys, Jon and Tyrion ride the three dragons. The Iron Throne does not have to belong to one person after all.

 

Not so subtle art of giving a fuck

I am not your mother, I am certainly not your father. Don’t give me all the responsibilities that you need to take care of.

Sometimes… sometimes I want to say “Fuck it” and burn all the bridges. But there are other people, beautiful people on the other side of the bridge. People that he takes control of.

At some point, I will say “Hell with it.” and will burn all the bridges. People who will stay at my side of the bridge, will be the ones that I will move on with.

Somewhat tragic, but true.

Today, I’m 32

Today I’m 32. I think, I’m at the age when Sex and the City characters were first introduced. When I first watched the show, I was in my early twenties and the characters looked so mature and… old to be honest. When they referred to a man as a cutie, I was disgusted. Because those men were also old. Too old.

Now, when I look back and remember the pilot, Carrie looks like a teenager to me. And Steve is not that gross, he’s quite cute actually.

Today I’m 32 and I know that it’s not that big of a deal, but it feels like it is. Those late late twenties mentality is almost gone and I feel mature enough to lead myself. Until this year, I let anyone decide for me. From now on, I don’t want to do that.

I’m not saying that I know myself now. I’m still starting something, but I know better some things. Unfortunately not everything. But at least, I know what to expect from myself and from others.

I know that my closest friend won’t be celebrating my birthday and that’s okay. She’s dealing with a huge loss. I also know that another close friend of mine will forget the day, because she has problems that I couldn’t possibly compare.

What I have written so far, sounds like a big nonsense. But it means something to me and I’d love to remember this day when I realized that I know few things about myself. Even though, not about world. I’m still too young. Maybe I always will be.