Speaking of crushes

I think I have a new crush. Though I’m not sure if it qualifies he’s a crush. He’s certainly cute, even if he’s not exactly my type. I don’t think the feeling is mutual, but I honestly couldn’t care less. It’s like having your very first crush in junior high. We’re always nice to each other, send each other messages and being thoughtful about each other. We even opened up to each other a little.

As I said that the feeling is not mutual. He sees me as a friend, and he’s acting like that too. I know that I have a special place in his mind (because he shows his interest), and that’s enough.

Why do I still feel good about this even though the feeling is not mutual? Because for the first time ever, I have a crush on a nice guy. I had been having crushes on jerks for a long time that I forgot how good it felt to have a crush on a nice guy. Yes, he sees me as a friend, no I’m not his type (he likes brunettes) and no we’ll never be together; but these are all okay. Because having a crush on him is like the proof that I’m capable of recognizing something and someone good if it comes along my way.

In my previous post, I had mentioned another crush and he was just like the other crushes that I previously had. Devastatingly attractive, yet so snooty. This one is not like that, at all. He’s friendly with almost anyone, all my other friends who know him like him and think of him as a good guy as well. I know that that kind of validation is not necessary while having a crush on someone, but it’s certainly nice that your friends also think that he’s okay. ^___^

Other than my crush, my life is not too bad either. I’m still having problems with my family, and I’m in so much debt. But these are not that important. Because I have a goal that I want to actualize and I’m working toward that goal. Anything else is just noise. Also, I’m meeting with my friends, messaging and keeping in touch with some other friends, I’m reading a lot and I even started to lose some weight. As I said, anything else is just noise. It should be too!

To whomever is reading this, how are you doing? How is your life going so far? I hope that you’re treating yourself kindly. Not being cruel to yourself is the easiest thing to do, but stop doing it if you are in that state of mind right now. Take it from me. Since I started being kind to myself, everything is much better. I hope that you’re doing that too.

Much love.


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